Jonah’s Story: Five Years Later

Jonah’s Story: Five Years Later

Burn it till it’s burned out.
Turn it till it’s turned out
Act up from North, West, East, South . . .
Let’s get retarded. Let’s get retarded in here.

Let’s Get Retarded
The Black Eyed Peas

By now I am a Ranger for the United Republics of America. My job is to collect artifacts from before the Great Snatch. I am very good at my job: one of the best. I and my team have brought more Art, Artifacts and TexTech back Home than any other Ranger Team. Today I found a Mother Load inside an Old Library. In addition to the thousands of books there is TexTech galore: Computers, Flash Drives, Cell Phones, DVDs, and CDs. Coolest of all is a collection of Books in Brail which Blind Pete will cream his shorts for. We also raided a CVS Pharmacy for food and meds, then we torched it. I love my job.

I desire to find connections to my past which seems so much more than five years gone. I miss my family and my old friends.

We are having a rough month this January. We have lost three infants this winter do to whooping cough: a vaccine we have yet to find. May God rest their innocent souls. Right now we have 12 kids under the age of four all of whom have been Baptized. For the first year, for reasons yet obscure, no babies were born.
The newest choice for Eugenics was that imposed by our friends the ETs. They killed off 79.9999% of the human race. Another 20% was duped into becoming Breeders. The rest were left on Earth to fend for themselves and breed as they wish: scattered to the winds.

We are just now realizing the horror of this massive genocide at the hand of Homicidal Maniacs. One human Left ever 119 square miles Planet Wide. By year 5 we have for the most part found each other: Those that wanted to be found that is. We are a Band mostly from the middle and eastern United States.
Ranger Jonah my friends call me. The little ones call me Uncle Jay: my favorite role. As their Uncle my job is to teach them in the Martial Arts and in Rhetoric which blend seamlessly. Behind my back, they call me the Professor, which I like, anyway. In addition to the New Born all age four or younger, I have a crew of orphans left behind during the Cleansing five years ago. They truly are a handful of ragamuffins with unlimited potential energy. They are My Children and I am very protective of Them.

So much has Changed since the Cleansing, I don’t know where to Begin . . .


Copyright 2014 Joel Paddon

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