Jonah and the Whale:
We admitted we were
Powerless over our Addiction,
That our lives had become
We started one Friday night not long ago over drinks at the White Rook. I was even more drunk than usual, as it was payday and I was feeling generous. All my Brothers were there: Joe, Alexander, Jacob and of course Ruth. We were playing poker: seven card stud. I was winning big and Jake was starting to get pissed.
I ordered another round of tequila shots for us after I had won the hand with a straight flush. Spending all my winnings on booze, I wasn’t coming out ahead. Ruth was the DD tonight so she was just nursing a ginger ale. We had a rotation, but I always got skipped because I could not go one night without drinking.
As we finished the last hand, Spike called last call, so I ordered one last round of double bourbons. By this Time the whole bar was Wasted.
All but One.
Spike was Sober.
“How the hell do you stay sober day after day?” I asked him one afternoon.
“One day at a time by the Grace of my Higher Power.” Spike responded.
“By the Grace of God: nothing short of a Miracle.”
So he’s a religious Nut Case. That explains a lot. “How long have you been
“Twelve years and counting.”
“I can’t string two days in a row.” I admitted.
“Perhaps you’re an Alcoholic.”
“Yeah, maybe.” I lied.
“Just let me know when you’re ready to get Honest, Jonah.”
“Um, okay.” Asshole.
By the next night I was broke, so I hit my favorite Gay Bar for some free drinks. By midnight I had a good buzz going. Free drinks seem to hit me harder and faster for some reason. Pretending to be gay is dishonest, but when the monkey’s on my back, I do what I gotta do. Someday soon, I’ll pay my Karmic Debt.
Anyway, my conversation with Spike last night kept running through my head. “Perhaps you’re an Alcoholic.” Maybe I was an Alcoholic after all. Drinking sure took up most all of my Free Time and my Money.
I’ve tried to stop on multiple occasions: without success I might add. I can admit that at least. Is that possibly enough?
I left the Gay Bar after I finished my drink and set out to talk to Spike.
“Spike. We need to talk.”
“I believe I’m a Drunk.”
“I cannot stop on my own, even though I want to.”
“That’s your Problem?”
“Are you Powerless over your Addiction?”
“I admit that I am Powerless over Alcohol.”
“Great! So you’ve made a Beginning. Now you’re on Step 2.”
“Really? Now what do I do???”